All of us yoga teachers stood up in front bunch of strangers to teach yoga for various reasons. For some of us, it was a calling from somewhere above. Some of perhaps just practised for several years that we just needed to expand and move forward, so we either did our pilgrimage to India and spent some time in yoga shalas or did yoga teachers training where we are based and just got so inspired in our YTT that we couldn’t just keep it for ourselves, we needed to share that awesomeness with the rest of the world. Some of us just wanted a rewarding and stress-free career.
I can’t really describe mines in short sentence or a phrase, it’s a bit of a mixture of above with exception of the last one until it actually became evident itself. I was not intentionally seeking for it, it just happened naturally.
I practised yoga for 4 years prior I travelled to India (as part of my world tour a few years ago). I took my 200h YTT in one month whilst visiting India. I did it not because I wanted to become a teacher (I’ve always been really shy and did not have much of the confidence to actually stand in front of people and present or even more teach something). My only aim was to go deeper in my own practice as well to understand yoga tradition in more profound level, learn new things, meet likeminded people. That’s it, these were my intentions. But as the training evolved, we had to teach each other on daily basis, I was literally dragged out from my comfort zone, pushed in front of at that time strangers (other students, whom some of them later became close friends) and started building my confidence in baby steps. And it really inspired me, it felt really good to trust myself and be at least tiny bit more confident.
But when I came back after one more month travelling in South India after my training finished, too cold, wet, busy, competitive, overwhelming London, my excitement when down straight away. I started to feel lots of anxiety as I kinda needed to go back working to the office doing Interior Design to earn money as I'd spent my savings whilst travelling, but I simply couldn’t. I couldn’t simply sit down and even open and update my portfolio in order to be able to start applying for the jobs. And I didn’t, but more I was resisting more my anxiety was growing, I was feeling like being torn to opposite directions. I felt stuck in a situation I couldn’t see any solutions to move anywhere.
But not long after my dear friend, yoga buddy and amazing yoga teacher Mandy was giving up her Ashtanga class and offered me to take it over. It pretty much was the offer I couldn’t refuse haha. I said yes but really did not believe that I will get it. And guess what - I did!! So today is exactly the day when a year ago I stepped in front of a big group of awesome yogis to teach my VERY FIRST YOGA CLASS. I cannot describe the overwhelming fear and excitement at the same time I was feeling whilst teaching this class. I was saying that I had no choice, I was lying to myself, I had, but I didn’t want to have it. Because deep down in my heart I knew I was going in the right direction. After having the scariest 1 hour of my life the rewarding feeling filled up my heart and soul. I don’t know any other so deeply nourishing soul profession than yoga teacher. Every single time it was easier and easier to stand up in front of these awesome yogis and the rewarding feeling was growing even stronger. I started to notice how my anxieties were melting away, how I was becoming more confident and starting to finally see solutions in my life. Instead of trying to run away from everything and everyone. So now I can say, teaching yoga healed my soul. It was such an obvious path, calling from above, purpose, I can call it however I want, it was IT. So now I want to thank each and everyone: my teachers who inspired me, my friend Mandy who believed in me, my partner Zohair who supported me when I needed it the most, Leo Yogasphere who trusted me at the first place and every single student, who were the best teachers of all.
MY HUMBLE HONEST THANK YOU AND MY GRATITUDE TO EVERYONE!!!
Photo by @flyingtofu (on Instagram)